This CNY, my cousin brought her super cute 5mth old baby to our CNY gathering. Everyone was going gaga over the little girl, esp my mum... Than one aunty started... "Charlene, when will you have one for your mum to carry?" and it caught on... and other aunties asked stuff along the same lines too... One of my aunt, whom i've mentioned to that I want a dog instead of baby said "see... everyone loves babies, if you have a dog instead of a baby, everyone would not go all gaga over your dog. But everyone would go gaga over your baby." -___-
First things first... I'm NOT MARRIED YET! yes i'm probably the next in line to get married.. But i can't stress enough that I'm NOT MARRIED YET! I seriously can't imagine how much more bombarded I would be after I get married... why do people like to wish newly weds to have children.. you know.. stuff like "jao shen gui zi (faster give birth)" or "don't stop at 2"... OMG....... I really think wishing them a blissful marriage is a WAY more important than having children. I think a lot of people have this idea that children complete a family or even make a family... I feel that if a couple feels that they are not a completed family on their own, they should not get married. This is because not every couple will be "blessed" with a child, than what? They will feel incomplete all their lives. A couple should always be enough for each other. Children are just the up-size to a complete macdonalds meal. Without them, the meal still complete.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a child hater. In fact, I love kids! I love how they are so tiny, I love the nonsense they blab, I love how they can be so sweet and fun....they are great! BUT... that's because I only play with them for a few hours every week and return them to their parents after. I know it is a very different story when they belong to you. You have to clean up after them, teach them, give them all your extra time and attention...etc.. What they grow up to be is your doing. You might have tried your darnest.. but sometimes, they just don't turn out the way you wanted them to. My main gripe is this... Many people look at babies/kids and go mad over their cuteness and decide that they want one too... BUT have you ever looked at a pimply teenager or an ah beng or a criminal and go... I want one too? Why not? They were once kids too!! In fact, they could have been the cutest baby... but I think looking beyond a kid's first 10years of cuteness... one has to be aware that they are dealing with a lifetime of responsibility and sacrifice. So if you have not thought about loving your possibly uncute child during their teenage/adult years, isn't it irresponsible to say "I want one too".
The other thing is...... why do people automatically assume that babies are cute? My cousin is super lucky. Her kid is REALLY cute. But there are countless others that are less fortunate...I am a staunch believer that there are ugly babies, but no ugly baby animals. And there are MORE cute baby animals than human babies. (which rebuff's my aunty's comment about no one swooning over my future dog.) Just go to google images and type the following: "ugly babies", "ugly baby animals", "cute babies", "cute baby animals". I did that maybe 2hrs ago and i'm still repulsed from the images of the ugly babies and swooning over the cute baby animals.
Finally... so many people will say this... "you don't want a baby now, but next time you will." Than next time than say la!! why must say now? OR if I say that I don't want to have a kid cos i'm quite sure I won't know how to handle it.. than they will say "next time when you have a baby, you will automatic know how to take care of it". How is that possible?? It will probably be a lot of trial and error before you know how to take care of a child. And with raising children... you really don't want to make too much errors right? of course all parents make errors, and their children become a product of their successes and errors. I feel that I cannot bear the responsibility of raising a child wrong. I will not be able to take it when my child tells me he/she hates me or wishes he/she was never born or say some sort of hurtful thing to me. I'd really rather have a dog who will love me unconditionally and will always reciprocate my love. I think I will only consider having a child if i'm absolutely sure I can bring up a decent human being. For now... i am not responsible enough and not self sacrificial enough to love a child unconditionally. And... the truth is not everybody will be.
How can you not swoon over these babies.....
I met up with the sailors on tuesday for dinner. Topics of the dinner conversation included:- Job hunts
- Job changes
- Travels around the world
- Property
- Investment in property
- Wedding
- Match making
And as we were talking... a thought came to mind.. we're all grown up! I was just trying to remember what we would have been talking about 5yrs ago.. but that seem like such a distant memory now. I'm just so glad that some things don't change, like us always having a blast together and talking about where to travel together next. I have know these bunch since I was 17yrs old and its really amazing how we all still hang out together every other month. I really hope this continues even as we thread different paths in life. I really hope we can all continue to grow old together. :)
